This woman is the most amazing person ever, like you can’t even fucking imagine. I feel like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, my past will always haunt my mother and I. Now I know she could live another 30 years just with this shit inside of her. Come to find out, the fucking cancer is back - this time metastatic cancer. However I started turning to weed, idk why I felt something was off when I saw her during my first semester. Me going off to university was like a fresh start for the both of us. Together I got through highschool, I slowly dealt with my substance abuse issues, tried different meds and the last part was get out of my abusive relationship. Over these past few years my recovery has been hard but my mom and I pushed through. I can’t explain what that’s like, not knowing if ur moms going to make and having zero support because of covid laws. When she was in hospital, I was home alone. Because of covid and other reasons I was alone with her when it came back. My mom first had cancer when I was 5, it was quite traumatic for our family as my parents had just separated etc etc (no need for a whole life story). One of the main things during these rough times that was the most triggering was my mother’s cancer. I broke it off with my abusive boyfriend, left my past behind. Last year I left my home country for university, ready to start over. ![]() To sum it all up ive dealt with undiagnosed ADHD until I was 17, anxiety and depression for the longest time, suicidal thoughts for year long time frames, suicide attempts, fucked up high school life, substance abuse, SA, abusive relationships etc etc. I (19f) have been struggling with mental health/ illness issues since I was 12. Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place im just feeling slightly overwhelmed:) If you need to talk to someone at once, you may want to take a look at the hotlines list from /r/SuicideWatch We can't guarantee an immediate response, and there are times when this subreddit is relatively quiet. Please message us and we'll look into it. If your post or comment is not appearing, it may have been removed for a rule violation or it may be stuck in the filter. ![]() Please click "report" to let us know of any inappropriate content you see here - we'd like to know and handle it as soon as we can. Most people are surprised by at least some of our policies so please read all of them carefully before jumping in. It might seem that we have a lot of rules, but we've found they're all necessary to maintain as much emotional and physical safety as possible. If you've lost someone to suicide, /r/SuicideBereavement is the best community to get support. If you want to talk about thoughts or risk of suicide, please post at /r/SuicideWatch. Posts here need to be support requests specifically related to depression, and comments need to be supportive of the OP. Depression is both important and difficult to talk about so focus is essential. We offer a peer-support space for anyone dealing with a depressive disorder in themselves or someone close to them.
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